Diversity Woman Magazine

FALL 2015

Leadership and Executive Development for women of all races, cultures and backgrounds

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DW Life > d i v e r s i t y w o m a n . c o m Fa l l 2 0 1 5 D I V E R S I T Y W O M A N 55 fewer material things, and more special, meaningful items that I treasure." For example, Reece loved a set of French pastry plates, and although they were inexpensive, she couldn't aford them when she was in her 20s. A decade later, she went back to look for them and bought them. "When I see them in my cupboard, I smile. My daughter knows the story behind those plates." Te lesson is clear—sometimes you have to wait for what you want. LISA HAISHA, celebrity life coach, Los Angeles, CA Haisha started dis- cussing money with her now seven-year- old daughter, Ava Adara, when she was around three years old. Tey trav- eled a lot, and doing so presented an opportunity to teach about giving back. "We would always bring a suitcase of stuf for kids in orphanages or families that needed help. We would bring an envelope of money labeled Soul Fam- ily Funds. My daughter knows that when we travel, she must give some of her toys and stufed animals away. She also knows that a portion of the funds for the trip go to our Soul Family Fund, so she learns to settle for less. I learned this while traveling in Iraq in 1997. An 85-year-old woman asked me how I liked her country. I told her I loved it. She told me that when you visit a coun- try, don't just take, always give back. If not money, something from your soul." Haisha sets a travel allowance for them, and together they budget for the week and make decisions. "When we make purchases, we write down how much we spent and on what, and then balance the budget at the end of the week. We make it fun. We're laughing and learning. When we go over the budget, we fgure out how we can balance it the next week and what we can cut down on. Ava will say, 'Let's walk the mile home, instead of taking a taxi, because that'll save some money.' Ten we high-fve and start walk- ing, instead of hailing a cab." FROSWA' BOOKER-DREW, PhD, owner, Soulstice Consul- tancy, provider of public relations, fund-raising, training, and other services for organizations, Grand Prairie, TX When Booker-Drew's daughter was fve, she was asked to sing at school, and she told the school that she needed a con- tract to do it. "Te executive director called me, and we laughed about the fact that my child was taking notes and negotiating because of listening to my conversations." Booker-Drew makes a conscious ef- fort to share stories about her consult- ing and training business and has taken her daughter to work, on gigs, or when she participates in book signings. "I watched my parents run a restaurant and I learned about having a hard-work ethic by watching them. I wanted to do the same for her," says Booker-Drew. What she hasn't shared is that, as a young woman, she had a fear of money. Booker-Drew's parents fled for bank- ruptcy when she was a teenager, and the difcult experience made a lasting impression on her. "Because she is 14, I am still teaching and modeling behavior. I want her not to be afraid of money and realize it is a resource that you can control. I am teaching her the value of having a good education and multiple streams of income." BECKY BENES, coach and speaker, San Angelo, TX Benes, a mother of two daughters, says the frst thing she taught them when they wanted an al- lowance was how to spell allowance: work. "Tey were taught that if there is something worth having, it is worth working for. Tat being said, both daugh- ters have run their own pet-sitting busi- ness since the second grade." "I told them to be self-supportive through their own contribution. Tis les- son was imparted when they wanted to spend more than the budget," Benes says. "I would pay the basics for clothes, activi- ties, and food, but they had to pay for the over and above. For example, I would buy a pair of jeans for $35 to $50, but if they wanted the $100 to $125 pair, they would pay the diference." Benes also beat the drum about living within your means. "Te big questions I wanted them to ask themselves were, what is the underlying need to spend the money? Is it to feel secure, loved, and valued, or to receive recognition or gain status? Tese questions helped them make nonemotional buying and spend- ing choices and establish healthy fscal responsibility," says Benes. Benes feels she schooled her daughters well. "Tey spend money on things they want, paying their own way. Hannah is fnancing her way through college, and the 13-year-old, Mary, was able to pay for half of two summer camps and a trip to Spain this summer. Tey are growing into mature, self-supporting women." DW Sheryl Nance-Nash is a freelance writer specializing in personal fnance, small busi- ness, and general business.

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